Vulnerability is hard. Admitting life isn’t perfect sometimes feels like you’re letting yourself or those around you down.
I came to New York City with big dreams. The way the city towered above me gave perspective on greatness and achievement. The overachieving and strong individuals who inhabited the city were just what I wanted emulate in myself. Having paid off all my debt I felt ready to jump into the concrete jungle and pursue what set my heart on fire. I knew what I didn’t like about past jobs, but what did I love? It was the thought of “if you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life” that fueled me with perseverance as I pounded the pavement and took jobs way below my skill level just to make ends meet.
Then in an instant my world was shaken to the core. I was attacked and violated in a dark tunnel in a bad area. Thankfully the act was interrupted and my attacker was thrown off me by an unknown hero but the damage was done. From that point on the city felt like a cruel, harsh, and dangerous place. Everywhere I looked I saw people that I felt wanted to hurt me or take advantage of me. I didn’t want to tell anyone for fear of bringing them down.
I genuinely strive to be a positive and uplifting force to all those around me. There’s so much pain in the world that the last thing I want to do is contribute to it. That said I now realize that I too am human. I have been broken. But now I am healing. Being surrounded and held by close friends and doing a lot of inner work on myself through yoga and meditation has begun the process of healing.
On a quest for authenticity to myself I launched my own agency and am now doing meaningful work and mentoring others to do the same. I have been a broken individual but that is what makes me who I am. From working through the pain I have found more love and joy than I could possibly imagine. And that is what makes being broken beautiful: the chance to grow into someone who is more compassionate and loving than ever before. It’s not about what happened to you, it’s about what you do with it.
I’d love to hear how you deal with brokenness. Connect with me on twitter @findingpeace